Our Son's Adoption Story

One of my main goals with this blog is to inform and encourage others as they start the journey to adopt.  For that reason I wanted to share some (not all) of the specifics about the adoption of our son.  So often during the process I searched blogs that would give me some insight.  It was difficult to find blogs about adoption through foster care or foster care in general.  I longed to see and hear about others in my shoes.

Our profile for adoption was for a sibling group up to 3 children, ages 0-6, any ethnicity.

May, 2010 we received a call from our agency that we were one of 4 families selected to adopt a 15 month old boy.  We asked "Who else?"  They replied, "No one, a single, 15 month old boy."  We were very surprised and you will see later, how that has shaped where we are today (fostering).  They told us the Selection Staffing would be next week and we would know more then.

The day of the selection staffing we received confirmation that we, yes WE, had been selected to parent this child.  We were over the moon!  Of course we wanted to find out when we could meet him.  The next step was the formal "Presentation" where CPS and all the people involved in his case would "present" his case and history to us so that we could formally say yes or no.  We knew the answer was yes, but this is part of the process.  That meeting was scheduled for a month later.  I don't think I slept for the next month.  All we knew was his name.  We had not even seen a picture of him.  I helped the time pass by preparing his room and getting everything ready for his arrival.

The day of the presentation staffing I was nervous as could be.  I think I was just so afraid that they were not going to like us, or change their mind.  It was all unfounded, but I was nervous none the less.  The staffing went perfect.  We were able to talk with his foster mom via phone and all the people on his case. We formally said "YES" and arrangements were made for us to  meet him the very next day.

Before I get to the meeting, let me bring you up to speed on some of the specifics of our son's case and how God's hand was protecting him.  Jamie (not his real name) entered CPS custody at birth and went home with his foster mom at 3 days old.  He would have one foster mom, one CASA, and only two caseworkers for his entire 16 months in the system.  This is really rare.

So, on a beautiful June day, we met our son for the first time.  Literally saw his sweet face for the first time. We had fallen in love with him long before we saw him, much like other parents do while their children are still in the womb.  He was sleeping when we arrived and he looked like an angel. Jamie wasn't and still isn't quick to warm up to adults.  But we had been praying to our Lord that He would seal our hearts together and allow Jamie to know that we were his parents when he met us. And he did!  We even slept with a stuffed bear for the month prior and left it with him the day we met him.

Let me tell you, leaving him there after meeting him was the hardest thing I have ever done.  Not because he wasn't being cared for, but because I was in love with him and wanted to soak up every breath, every smile, every cry, everything.  We returned the next day for another visit and then the foster mom agreed to bring him to our home every day until placement which was scheduled for the upcoming Friday.

Well the visits went beautifully and placement took place as scheduled.  I am going to skip over the next 6 months and fast forward to finalization.  The next 6 months will be some of the most honest thoughts on this blog.  Parenting is not easy.  We learned a lot and are still learning as we go.  Parenting and adoption is not all roses.  But it is amazing!

We finalized our adoption January of 2011.  It was a perfect ending and beginning all in one.  We kept the first name that his birth-mother gave him for a few reasons.  He already knew it.  It was a family name on my side.  It was biblical like his daddy's.  We liked it.  We did change his middle and last name.  Here is father and son at court.

Jamie's birth-family did not desire to have contact with him.  We do not currently have any insight as to parenting a child in an open adoption due to this.  It was not our desire but we cannot do anything to change this.

So this is a really condensed version of our son's adoption story.  I will share deeper insights in later post about becoming parents, peoples reactions, the highs, the lows and all the in between.